- Mon Dec 12, 2022 1:44:45 pm
#76265
You folks sick of my novels yet? Probably. That's okay, fuck you.
So let's talk about the challenge off the top. I did a "thing" and it almost worked in my favour I guess? 2nd challenge this season that came down to Hali and I - and I biffed it. After looking across the answers I knew it was me for the tiebreaker but I kinda worried that if I answered me to that question it would set some flags off - I want to come off more unaware of where I'm at in the game and I keep singing that song. I'm okay with not winning any challenges for immunity, especially after seeing the results of the challenge because being a non-challenge threat might be the only thing I can do now to lower my threat level. I don't think I can claim a thrown challenge here though. Hali beat me fair and square because I feel confident that, even if I did answer myself, she would have done it faster than me so kudos to her. At least in the Numbers challenge I know what I did and can maybe take that back...but this one is a clean win for her and what makes me happy is that Hali and I seem to rock at these social challenges. It tells me I'm with the right person in the game because we're socially dialled in for those things.
Back to the "thing" I did in this challenge - I KNEW you fuckers were going to post the results to stir shit up so I lied for all of my "Personal Opinions" in the hopes it would impact the Most Popular Answers. I'd say it was definitely a contributing factor to all the "TIE" questions which gives me a broader shot at scoring points. Clearly it worked because Hali and I scored 7 out of 10 which is pretty damn good I guess. Want my actual Personal Opinions? It would be fun to know how my real answers would have impacted the results but I don't expect you Hosts to figure that out. I'll put my actual answers in bold, with my made up answers that I provided for the challenge in brackets beside it.
Personal Opinions
1. Rodney (Michelle) - Sydney isn't THAT big of a goat, girl can still scrap. Rodney too sloppy but it everyone's perception of Sydney is impacted by her inactivity. Rodney is DEFINITELY more of a goat than Sydney even with Sydney being more inactive. 2 TCs now she was pretty well dead, showed up, caused shit, and got it done.
2. Paul (Sydney) - Of course Paul is the biggest challenge threat but I think it could be Michelle because she is WICKED SMART.
3. Paul (Rodney) - Why tf would I think Rodney is going to win the game? He just left (more on that in a later question). Paul is winning but Michelle might really be winning.
4. Rodney (Paul) - Rodney has the most likes overall so it feels like he'd be all-star worthy? Yeah - I guess I should talk about this. Two days before submitting my answers I looked at everyone's post counts, likes and dislikes, figured out the three highest and lowest like counts %s from all the players and used that to help inform some of my answers.
5. Hali (Voce) - C'mon of course I trust Hali with my life.
6. Sydney (Hali) - Of course I want to interact with Hali after the game. Like C'mon. I thought you might post personal opinions so this is one of my many answers that I wanted to use to make it obvious I threw this part of the challenge to the wind and tell everyone "hey yeah I just lied so none of my answers really count" because then I don't get the blow back for an opinion that isn't even real. And to clarify, I'd love to chat with Sydney after the game. This was just a hard one to answer with the 7 people left in the game and if Sydney saw this answer I was already prepared with how to diffuse this situation ("oh I'm saying that to shield that fact that we're a f2 because no one expects us to be together...it just makes sense!")
7. Voce (Stephanie) - Paul and Michelle COULD, Hali COULD, Steph COULD but Rodney couldn't nor could Sydney. Process of elimination meant that the only person who could betray me (but would swiftly pay for it) is Voce. And I trust Steph a lot. Obviously. But gotta downplay that to everyone but Hali.
8. Paul/Mike (Michelle) - I'm never as good as I think I am in this game as much as I can talk like an arrogant egomaniac who thinks he's the shit. Also James helped me huge here with his goodbye message so I leveraged that into my answering too. Thanks James! Still learning from you even from beyond the grave buddy!
9. Rodney (Hali) - I was confident in Rodney leaving tonight. I think a lot of people tossed Hali's name out as a way to not upset the status quo by having Rodney and signal him to his impending demise. But we're all dumb and still fucked it up.
10. Stephanie (Voce) - I mean this is an obvious one. Voce and I get on but Steph and I just click. We'd be able to co-exist with each other for sure. Not much else to say there. You people see our chats, you all know she and I get on great. Voce and I get along well but we'd run out of things to talk about in ten minutes.
11. Paul (Sydney) - So I might've fucked myself with this answer in hindsight because I could've won but my stance on the advantages is this - real or fake, I just don't give a flying fuck. There's a part of me that believes there's only one idol in the boxes and the rest are fake and if you disclose that you lose your vote forever or some shit. There's another part of me that believes they're real and if so, I was playing a losing man's game from the start. Hali was my bounty - what was I supposed to do? We're at f7 together now. Not targeting her was clearly the right call for my game. I can't plan my game around advantages or getting them or how to navigate them because I did the last game and went out second. So fuck the advantages
Now to actually talk about the Most Popular Answers (the lurkers who hate my novels just let out an audible groan, I just know it).
Sydney as the goat - you get this wrong you're dumb. She isn't here. Obviously she's the biggest goat.
Paul as the biggest challenge threat - again, obvious. Perception is reality and with two wins before this challenge who else could you pick?
Mike most likely to win the game - what THE FUCK? I'd love to win but goddamn do I still not see that as being an easy thing to do. It's humbling to be seen as someone being strong enough to win, especially knowing the mistakes I've made already in this game. But maybe that's the difference? I will OWN my mistakes, not hide them. I'll show that I'm growing from them and turn that into a winner's story. I hope. So yeah, seeing that put me on red fucking alert and I'm a little worried Hali is just marching me to my demise to cut me at the end but even then, I don't think her cutting me is the best move for her game? It's weird and tricky to explain. Taking me to the end and letting me pitch is not a smart thing to do because I know for a fact I can pitch EVERYONE here under the table (that kinda sounds dirty whoops) but Hali is whip smart and her best course of action would basically be to discredit my pitch and disprove everything I say. Not an easy task but one that any worthy winner would be able to pull off.
Mike to return for an all-stars season - alright now this changed my shit up. I wasn't expecting this because I think I'm the FURTHEST thing from an all-star. I really don't think I'm worthy of that sort of potential praise. As much as I was humbled by the "mike is most likely to win", this is genuinely a question that hit me in the heart and I wasn't expecting it. I don't play this game well. I was going to talk about it post season but I basically have a theory that my style of play isn't host/lurker friendly but connects well with people stuck in this experience with me. They don't have the insight that the viewers do, so to them it's like "oh wow Mike is great" while people watching are like "ugh, Mike would be the worst winner in Stranded history!" (which, funny story, when I came in 4th in that season of Beevivor I keep talking about, one of the hosts said that I would have been the worst winner in Beevivor history if I made it to the end...because I think I had a shot to actually win if I did. That host couldn't gargle my balls then and they most certainly can't gargle them now - it wasn't Catalie by the way, she's forever a G in my books. Girl's got knowledge for days about this shit and I can only hope to get some contact knowledge from rubbing shoulders with her). I'm grateful that people think I'm all-star worthy (or at least the most likely to be the popular answer here) and if you folks every do an all-star or returnee thing, call me and I'll be back in a heartbeat to blindside my closest ally as soon as humanly possible.
I'm gonna skip some of these other questions because they aren't interesting or worth highlighting the answers for.
Never contact again - Steph and Voce. This answer is bullshit because it'll hurt some feelings and my girl Steph is the answer. Get to fucking know the girl and you'll be like "oh she's fucking dope". Voce is a great guy too - fellow Stranded Daddy. So yeah, fuck this question big time. I ain't about it.
The only other question I'll address is the most likely to think they're in control but they're not. I picked myself correctly and I did that as an attempt to subvert expectations - if I know I'm not as in control as I think I am wouldn't that mean I'm potentially still in more control than the people who think that I don't think I know that I'm not as in control as I think I am? - Yeah, it's a brain twirler but I fucking stand-by it. I literally asserted my dominance in this game by answering myself here meanwhile Paul thinks he's still running the show and people don't notice! HAAAA AND THE BEST PART IS HE ANSWERED ME TOO LIKE A FUCKING GOON. DOUBLE HA. C'mon, have some self-fucking awareness people. I'm not nearly as good as I think I am - but Paul might be sipping a bit more of his Kool-aid than he should and maybe it's time to knock him down a few pegs.
Now to get to the remainder of the questions!
There's been a massive strategy shift in week two. I highlighted it in a previous confession but basically, it's a pairs game now and Michelle and Paul need Hali and I as much as we need them. It's risky but I've said it a lot, if I can get Hali and Steph to the end over me I win the game anyways because my primary allies got the damn thing done. Hali CAN win this fucking game and so help me GOD if Paul and Michelle send me to jury it'll be their biggest mistake in their entire games because from there I can advocate and paint in vivid detail that I was Hali's lapdog the entire game (even if that isn't true) and highlight and articulate all the brilliants strengths she's displayed this time around. If I get in front of a jury you all know I'm going to drop a mic drop fucking pitch to end all pitches. But if I'm not fortunate enough to do that you, you bet your ass I'm going to drop a mic drop fucking pitch to the jury for Hali to win because the girl is playing an incredible, underrated game and it feels like no one else here is seeing it but me. And I know how to beat it at the end if she's there with me so that's why I want her there with me at the end, to prove who the best player this season truly was. There's been some more shifts in strategy even as I write this confessional so, if I'm fortunate enough to be here tomorrow, I'll highlight those.
Split vote - it turned out this way because Steph didn't want to risk getting lost in the crossfire or losing me in the crossfire and I felt the same way back. We're oddly connected in this game and it's not what I was looking for or expecting but I'm comforted by it. We controlled that vote, split it correctly to fish out any potential shenanigans and got shit done. I'm sure you'll hear other stories about why it might have happened but I think the true story there is Steph and I chose each other and knew splitting the vote was the only way to make sure we were both here another day.
So I wrote this confessional all last night at like 1am and had a boot order for you and everything down to the way the numbers would fall per vote all the way to the end. And then I deleted it. You don't get a rough boot order from me. That's something Mike would do. But Dylan...Dylan knows better. I was doing boot orders and all kinds of dumb shit as Mike last time out and I died quickly. So maybe this time around, not having a boot order or specific expectations will do me better. I don't know my specific path to the end. It's ever changing. I think one day I know exactly what to do and then more information comes my way and I have to pivot. I've done it twice today already. I'll explain those pivots if I'm here tomorrow. What I can say is, as long as I have Hali and Steph by my side in this game I know I'm doing the right thing for someone, whether or not that someone is me...well that doesn't matter to me. Hali Steph or I winning in the best possible outcome in my books even though I know other people would disagree.
I also want to end on a different kinda note that I wasn't expecting. I had a talk with Hali earlier and we talked about our games and where we are and how we're playing and we talked a bit about Steph. I'm upset with myself a bit and how I talked. I didn't like it. I came off more cold and callous about Steph than I truly feel and I know I put "Mike The Otter" to rest a few days ago but I don't think I really truly did...there's parts of him that just keep coming back out. I'm caught between these two badass girls and I wasn't kidding when talking to Steph earlier that I feel like my story is I'm going to have to choose one of them. And I'm going to be heartbroken when I have to choose because I'm going to hurt one of them and I don't like that I'm going to have to do that. I don't even want to have to do that. Do I think I beat either of them at the end? Maybe. But it doesn't even fucking matter to me if I win if I'm hurting either of them to do it. It's a very real possibility I'll have to choose and as much as I'm doing this whole "Hali is my #1 girl, Steph is my #2 #1 girl", it's not like that and it isn't as clear cut as I'm playing it out to be. On a harsh, personal level I'm deeply conflicted of staying loyal to my day 1 ally in Hali vs. staying loyal to the person I am most personally connected to in Stephanie. I mean like, I know Steph's real name now. She's not an avatar, she's a real person. And somewhere along the way I think I started to forget that for a minute and it's important for me to write it out and remind myself that, how I'm playing right now is gonna hurt me if I can go all the way and I'm just not sure if the win is worth the hurt.
I was gonna save this thought for my final pitch but maybe at this juncture of the game it's better to share it here.
I always said that when I play the real game of Survivor at some point in my life (because I will, just trust me...it's inevitable) I'd want to make sure I'm planted firmly between the two most badass women I can find on the beach. I don't care about their stories, their age, physical shape...any of that. I want to work with the two most badass and capable women I could find and be loyal as fuck to them. And I found them in this season of Stranded. Hali is a social machine. She's clever, tenacious, and a literal Disney princess. Steph is so powerful because she cares herself with so much poise and just not giving a shit what people think about her. I respect those traits so much from both of these women and I'm putting myself in an impossible heartbreaker position. I think Hali would turn on me if she thinks it would get her the win, which means I should be able to turn on her if I think it'll get me the win. I don't think Steph would ever turn on me which means I should never turn on her. I don't know what to do and if we end up in like a f2 scenario, I'm not joking when I say I'd maybe consider throwing the competition entirely. If we're at a f3 scenario, I at least feel confident that it could be Steph and I vs Hali and whoever else is there. Tough times.
