- Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:59:20 pm
#75416
Alright - what a busy day for the Otter. I think one thing I have to be cautious of is falling into old habits. I don't want to be completely locked in on the information I've been given as gospel this time around. The only REAL piece of information that I know is honest for a fact is that Naseer is playing with everyone as per Voce from last season. I've said it a lot but I just keep saying it as a reminder. Our conversations are becoming derivative between Naseer and I as we both jockey to not give each other too much too soon. He made an off hand remark to me about how he thinks I'm in the top spot calling the shots but then back-pedalled and said he thinks James is. Then in the same breath he was talking about riding James' coattails as he makes the moves and gets all the blood before making a move against him. There's a lot to cover from today so let's start with Steph and I.
So I extended an olive brand today to Steph. Here and I are always the ones on the latest, feels like we've bonded the most so I officially offered her to be my #1 in the game because I feel like I need it. She said it was obvious we were #1's already but it's not like we've talked much game prior. I kinda regret the offer for a few reasons which I'll get into throughout this whole fucking novel I can't help but write. It's a sickness, y'know? Anyways - I offered her to be my #1 in the game and it immediately felt like she used me for information and gave me nothing back. What a great exchange. I told her about how James doesn't trust her, how Morgan wants distance, and how Hali feels bleh about her because what do I have to lose at this point other than another season of Stranded? All I got back from her was "no one's talking about you." Which is fine I guess but I gave her a lot of detail and she just kept it curt. But I've gotta remember this is just the way she kinda is. Short and to the point. Here and I really got together over our mutual distrust of James. She mentioned how James and Morgan were really downplaying their closeness, at which point I agreed because it feels really, really obvious to me that's the case. I disclosed to her that I shared that theory and the reasons why at which point we got to a place where it feels like her and Hali could potentially work together. Forward progress! I'm somewhere between believing Steph doesn't have a lot of people in the game and believing she has everyone. But I want to believe that people like Hali and I are the lifelines she needs
Here's where my shit gets complicated. No more than 20 minutes later Hali hits me up outta the blue and asks if she can share something with me. She tells me that she saw the same shit I did between James and Morgan in the server and it set off red flags for her too. Which them lead to her also telling me exactly what Steph did - James and Morgan are way closer than they are letting on. This whole server picture is gonna be such a scandal and is probably being blown out of proportion but if you aren't losing your mind and being paranoid, you aren't playing Stranded. So from there Hali and I were off to the races more so than ever before. We fell right back into working together like last season but...better? It felt way better. I want so badly to see Hali fuck some people up. But in playing with her like this I could feel myself backsliding into old habits, overplaying a bit and overthinking. It just comes so naturally and I hate it. So for now there's a tentative plan for her, Steph, and I to work together and see what outliers we can pull in. We're going to work on Paul and Michelle and basically let James display that he's on a power trip and being a dictator, which he is. We're hoping that Paul and Michelle recognize that he's driving the game and, with the right information, would be willing to make a move. It would be crazy and fun to do but insanely difficult. I don't like my path forward in this game whatsoever. And for all I know James is being sincere and does actually want to work with me. But I just don't trust him.
Speaking of James - today I tried to convince him that I turned a tamagotchi into a shiv and that I spent some time in juvie. I don't think he believed either but I wasn't lying about light metal slides on fire with my friends. From there it actually lead into some genuine and real conversations which is nice. I know he and I will be great friends in this community for as long as we're both in it, game completely aside. He's a great guy but just someone I can't trust as far as I can throw him.
Alright. How about the questions now...
So we've officially made jury! I'm not excited about it yet. It still feels like the game hasn't started. I remain neutral because I walked into jury and there's still 2 somewhat inactive players in front of us still. That would take us to final 9 which at that point becomes a really time game to navigate when a quarter of the players prior to that point are gone and didn't give you much to work on. That's what pisses me off with the inactives - they're taking away resources from us to play with. It less conversations I can have to suss out something fishy. It's less personal conversations with a different person that could influence who I want to play with. So yay for making jury - my Stranded best! - but I don't feel like I've earned it. It's a participation medal. My best placement in an ORG is 4th and I'd like to top it here with a chance at Final Tribal Council. Let's crack the top ten first before looking that way though.
No surprised for the vote tonight - I thought it was 8-1 but I could have miscounted. James thought it was 7-1 (but more on that in a second). I went back and looked again and it was 9-1. You were right Susie and I apologize for doubting you. You're the host and I'm a lowly competitor. Back to the question though - no surprises in the vote. I publicly declared my stance and got messages from Morgan and Paul supporting my stance. I'm too tired to replicate the emotion right now but basically - Hosts, you all go above and beyond for a game that you don't need to be doing this for and it's deeply appreciated. I love this game. I respect it a lot. And people who just no show or don't try fucking suck. I saw it with the previous season of Beevivor I did and it was just fucking brutal to see hosts working hard and having people not giving a shit. Show up and play or get the fuck out. Anyways, Voce caught a stray vote and I think it was James because I contemplated throwing a stray at Naseer but thought better of it. Either James did it, knows who did it, or Paul did it because he seems like a shit disturber who was completely safe so what did he have to lose.
My position in the game sucks. I think I'm right above the inactives in terms of social standing. If I had to power rank from least to best it's probably something like...Sydney, Rodney, Voce, Myself, Stephanie, Naseer, Hali, Morgan, James, Paul, Michelle. That's a rough guess anyways. I feel like I'm on insanely shaky ground right now. I'm too social for my own good (but not as good as I think I am), I suck at challenges, and I don't handle not being in control well (which I'm trying to work on). I kinda see one of two things happening in my game being booted third/fourth or losing Stephanie there and being booted around sixth/seventh.I said it in a prior confessional that I think my James problem will just take care of itself but I've got players around me who really want to make that move, allegedly, in Hali and Steph. I'd prefer if one of them just took the shot and made it happen because I don't want to do the work and I'm afraid that if I do the work it'll be what costs me my game. So yeah, my spot sucks and I hate it.
I'd love to have a F3 of myself, Hali, and Steph because I think that means everything went right in my game? I'd love to have Hali there at the end with me because it would be a great story. To go from fucked over on the second vote last season to finding a way to work together again and get to the end. It's a really good arc for her and I. I don't think I'd even be upset losing to her because, for me, coming in second to someone like Hali is actually almost better of an arc for Mike than winning. It shows that I could put aside myself and my ego and help someone I'm truly committed to get to the end and win, which isn't something I think Mike from season 40 would have the strength, or absence of ego, to admit. So yeah, fairytale ending to the season is a 2nd place finish behind Hali right now. Steph would be great to have there because she's the person I just click with most. She downplays how good she is so I don't know if it could happen. I think she'd cut me if she got the chance but I don't know, those two girls at the end would mean I played a loyal and honest game to them and that would be nice to say I did it. In terms of expendability, no one is expendable to me. That was the mistake I made the first time. I treated Tyler, Rodney, Nina, and Carolyn as all expendable players outside of the majority and 3 of them went off and formed a majority without me. So the time around I want the Rodney's and the Voce's because that's how I think I beat players like a James, who seems to almost be ignoring those players? It's like if he can't form a fast social bond with them they aren't worth his time (and I get that with a shorter season) but all relationships are fluid in this game and a Voce who doesn't feel valuable now could be the linchpin of success at the end of the game.
I have no clue who won the first bounty or what the prize was. I offered to give up my bounty just to keep it fair and not have a player just get handed an advantage because of an inactive boot but I'm not really surprised that offer didn't go anywhere. I'm sure I'll love the advantage if one of my allies has it and can help my game but for now, I'm not about it. I don't give a shit what the advantage or prize is and I'm not gonna waste my time thinking about it. I know I'm a novelist and give long answers but in this case I'd just like to move on from the whole thing entirely.
In terms of the overall stress level last season vs. this season - about the same? I made it as far comparatively as I did last time - if I make it through tomorrow then I'll beat my Stranded record. Last time around might have been more stressful because I knew I overplayed and was way too aggressive and knew right before the vote I was fucked because of how Will was speaking to me. This time around I think I can make it a bit further but right now I'm feeling a little helpless. There's less room to navigate with fewer players around and pre-existing relationships in play. I'm just trying to be myself but I'm also too invested and trying too hard because that's how I have the most fun...which is what really matters I guess. Winning would be awesome but seeing someone I adore like Hali win would be even better. So yeah, not as stressful as last season yet but I didn't have time to really get stressed because I died so early. I think my tribal council stress was less this time around but I played it up more around everyone. So that was a nice surprise.
I don't even know what verbal diarrhea I just wrote out because I'm exhausted. ORGing with a baby is hard.
Otter out.
